tragedy

it's strange to even write about what happened last thursday. i'm so used to writing about happy things, and it was such a good week up until that point. it was my last week of university, london had just won the olympic bid, after live 8 it looked like the leaders at the G8 summit were actually going to talk about poverty. then everything changed. i got up early on thursday because i had an appointment with a teaching agency. i was going to leave earlier so i could take the train with damon, but i got distracted by checking my email so i left a bit later. i took the train to vauxhall and that was fine, and then when i got to vauxhall tube station i was trying to get to the ticket machine, but there was a huge queue. then a man came out and said that the victoria line wasn't running because of a power failure. i thought that was really strange but headed outside to phone damon. he was at work already so i got him to look to see if there was another route i could take. by the time that he phoned back to tell me i could take the northern line and the picadilly line, they had announced that all of the underground was shut down because of this power failure. i called the agency to rebook the appointment for friday, but i wasn't too upset because it was my last lecture at university, and i was quite happy to go to that instead. as the trains were still running i took the train to barnes and then a bus to university as normal. i talked to a few friends and found out that they were not coming to the lecture, one because she had to take the tube as well, she said that she had heard there was some kind of security alert. another friend texted me something about explosions, but i still had no idea what was really going on. even sitting in the lecture at university i heard whispers about explosions and a bus blowing up, but none of it seemed real. it wasn't until the lecture was over at noon and we all turned our phones back on that the news started really coming in. my mobile was not working, as many peoples were not (to keep the lines open for emergencies as well as stopping people from detenating bombs from their mobiles) and so i just waited to hear from other people. i was so glad that i had already spoken to damon that morning and knew that he was ok. we finally found a television and that's when it all hit me. seeing that bus torn apart, there are no words to describe how i felt, fear and sadness and anger all at once. i was on a bus at the same time that happened.
we had our celebration picnic inside because of the weather, but it was no celebration. i didn't stay long, was offered a ride home from a friend and thought that was a much better idea than taking a bus and train that day. i got home to a slew of worried phone calls and emails. i can't even imagine waking up in canada and seeing that on the news, how scary. i just felt helpless for the rest of the day. glued to the tv, wishing that i could do something, but not being able to move.
i took the tube the next day to go to that appointment. i need a job and there's no other way to get there. it was a strange feeling, but i was surprised to see so many people on the tube with me. it just shows that londeners are resilient and they keep on going.
i feel so bad for all of the people who were injured and who lost their lives in this, and for all of their loved ones. i know what a relief it was to hear that everyone that i knew was ok, and i can't imagine if it was the other way around. it's just wrong that all of these people had to suffer so that someone could prove a point. it's senseless.